I am in a friendship where I don’t know how honest I can be. And in truth, I often wonder if we know each other well enough where I can be completely honest with her.
I’ve watched her get into a relationship that I knew would not work. I watched it move way too fast, I watched it crashed, and only afterward did I say how I really feel. I watched this relationship rekindle, and I still held back. I watched as it became a roller coaster. I didn’t hold back completely, but I was still holding back.
With any other friend, this would of been easy. I have no idea if they would of considered my feelings on the issue. Okay, maybe I do. Some of them would and some wouldn’t, and that is okay, but there would of been no holding back on my part. I would of put it all out there, with no worries about how any one would take it. These friendships though have much history, and these conversations happen pretty easily.
I’ve never thought about these things before. I’m use to saying whats on my mind. I’m use to friends knowing how I feel or what I’m likely to say. Lately, She’s become irritable, and is alienating people with her attitude and behavior. While she hasn’t alienated me (yet), my annoyance meter is pretty high. Sometimes I find myself getting ready to say something but uncertainty makes me walk away. How solid is our friendship? I wonder if I can just be honest, and all will be fine. If not, is this the kind of friendship I want? I doubt that.