Learning To Say NO

“Hey, can I borrow….?”

“Hey, can you cover me?”

“Hey, I need a favor.”

I’ve always had a problem telling people no.  I never took the time to figure out why that is.  I say yes, when what I really want to do is say, “no”.

I have always done favors and covered for others when it really was at my own detriment.  I have worked myself tired to help out coworkers, when I really wanted nothing to do with their project.  But I’m a team player and a good friend.

My problem was I was more concerned about someone else’s feelings that my own.  Neglecting myself, and putting others ahead of myself.  Its a constant pattern in my life, that I’m trying curtail.

So I’ve learned to say “no”.  I couldn’t continue to punish myself, to the benefit of everyone else.  The next step I’m working on, is saying “no”, and not feeling guilty about it.

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16 thoughts on “Learning To Say NO

  1. There’s a quote: “Half of life’s problems stem from saying ‘yes’ too soon and ‘no’ too late.” Take it one response at a time; take care of yourself so that when it counts you can care for others!

    Jessy

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  2. I can relate to this. Saying yes and putting others first has landed me in so much hot water. And while the guilt has never left me, I can deal with it, having gotten my priorities straight. The ppl I used to benefit at my expense just need to do the same.

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  3. I have the exact same problem! I always finding myself taking too much on because I don’t want to tall people no. I feel like I am letting them down. Props to you for learning to say no, it is something I am still working on.

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  4. I can completely relate to this, it’s so difficult to say “no”. I’m always trying to be the diplomatic! I’ve found moments of strength though, otherwise you risk getting walked all over! Great post.

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  5. I have always done the same thing, put others before my own needs – then I needed an operation, and asked all my friends that I had helped so much over the years, if they would visit me in hospita – pop in and see if I was ok when I got home – do a bit of shopping for me. Couldn’t believe that none of them offered! Result – the hospital wouldn’t allow me to have the operation if I didn’t have home care. Don’t see much of those people now – but I’m happy I found out that I was wasting my energy on people who just expect you to come at their beck & call, and don’t give anything back!

    Not bitter, not now, but still annoyed!

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  6. Saying “Yes” too often, and I ended up more distracted from my default activities and goals. Sacrifice yourself for other’s advantage is just unhealthy. That’s when I learned to be more decisive, include the moment to say “No”

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