Lost

The fourth assignment in the Writing 101 course asks:

Today’s Prompt: Write about a loss: something (or someone) that was part of your life, and isn’t any more.

I wanted to write about something else, maybe something serious or not so serious, but something on a lighter note.  Then I realize, Its been nearly a year.  A year since my grandpa passed.  A year since I woke up to tears and someone attempting CPR.  Its hard to believe its been a year since our family saw them wheel his body out of our home.

I relive that day in my head often.  I know its was beyond my control, but I can’t help the what ifs.  Especially because that day wasn’t a normal day for me.  What if it had been an normal day for me?  Probably wouldn’t have made a difference, but I can’t help but wonder.

I can’t help but think about the last few days before he passed.  We celebrated his birthday, and looking back, wonder if he knew that it might be his last one with us. I remember how he was ready to do anything I needed, even as his health wasn’t good.  It is one of my last memories of him.

My gramps was selfless.  He would go above and beyond for anyone who needed his help.  There was no minimum effort when he decided he was going to help.  He always putting his best foot forward.

What do I miss the most?  The laughs, the jokes, the stories, his bluntness, and his raw honesty.  He had a knack for saying what most people were thinking, but afraid to say.  He would spit it out, causing everyone to laugh.  And there goes the awkwardness.

I miss the little talks.  In a big family, these moments could be hard to come by, but we would have them whenever the opportunity presented itself.  They weren’t all serious, and they weren’t all fun.  Sometimes, they were about mundane things, but it wasn’t about the actual talks.  It was about us, together.  Creating memories, without realizing it.

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3 thoughts on “Lost

  1. It is difficult to lose someone you love. You are torn between knowing that they are no longer in pain and suffering the pain of the absence now that exists in your own life. Hugs to you. I understand how you feel. He sounds like my kinda guy.

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