Out of Reach

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Out of Reach.”

Write about the one X that got away — a person, an experience, a place you wanted to visit. How much would you change about your life to have it within reach again?

Sometimes I find myself in a state where I second guess every decision I every made. I sometimes I find myself second guessing the college I chose, and second guessing the major I chose. Now, I’m not sure how I came to those decision, so I’m just left wondering. I also find myself wishing I had told a guy I like how I feel about him after finally getting the opportunity to get to know him. I wish I had the courage back then, but to be honest, I don’t think I would of had the courage today. I sometimes wonder about the guys who I didn’t give a chance. I had my reasons, but maybe while nothing would of come from anything with these guys, maybe I would of gained some knew friends. I guess I’ll never know.

I see my decision to not study abroad as a missed opportunity. One that will always bother me. I was on pace to graduate a semester later than expected. It was disappointing, so I bypassed the opportunity focusing entirely on finishing school. In hindsight, I should of just went for it. After all, I was already on pace to graduate school later than expected, so I should of for it. There was nothing to lose, but in my mind there was. The only thing I lost was very good opportunity to experience something amazing.

I’m also a different person now than when I made those decisions. What if I were more confident, and more sure of myself, maybe I would of made the decisions that scared me, rather than let it get away, leaving me to wonder “what if?”

The thing about missed opportunities is, you seldom get the same opportunity twice. If we all did, there would be no hesitation about the choices we would make. We now know the outcome of the choices we made, and the missed chances. This time it would be easy, versus the last when we were unsure. I think this why we do so much second guessing, and become nostalgic in our “if I had to do it over again” stories.

Even when I find myself second guessing myself, I remind myself that I made my decision. No matter how much it pains me and how much I regret it, it is in the past. There is nothing I could do now. So I try to leave those actions in the past. Chalk it up as an experience to learn from, and move forward.

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