The Road To….

Beck Brown

“Where am I going?”

That is the question I asked myself after sending out my latest rounds of resumes.  Its a questions I ask myself after exhaustion, disappointment, and sometimes out of sheer confusion.

Sometimes it feels like I am on the road to nowhere.  Sometimes I wonder if I am even on the road.  Should I even be on the road?

When I first noticed that I wasn’t heading in the direction that was good for me, the right thing to do would of been to make an exit, but I kept going.  I kept going, until I got so lost, that finding my way has been no easy task.

Its hard to see my friends have it together.  Meanwhile I’m still trying to figure it out.  Usually, I’m trying to figure out where it went wrong.  I’m still trying to figuring where I went wrong, and trying to right the ship at the same time. The clash of feelings is enough to drive me crazy. Maybe that is one of my biggest problems, more thinking and less doing.

Why was it so easy for everyone else?  We went to the same schools, we graduated the same year.  Why is it so hard for me?  What trait do they have that I am so glaring lacking?  What did they do right that I did wrong?  I’m sure the answer isn’t so simple, but when you feel like your going nowhere, you grasp for something.

Everyone says these struggles are normal.  Yet I only read of these normal struggles of others through the world wide web.  Its hard when your peers don’t share your experience. You really do feel alone.

Writing 101 Day 4: Images — including photographs and works of art — can also act as starting points for stories, essays, poems, and personal musings.

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5 thoughts on “The Road To….

  1. I can almost guarantee that what you perceive as your friends having everything together, is clouded by the confusion you have of your own path. So many people have difficulty admitting they’re in the same boat. Most people are not satisfied with their lives, yet keep on keeping on. I’m almost 40, and have been doing the same career now for 10 years. I want out, yet have no idea what to do next. It is a normal struggle, and there is nothing wrong with it.

    I like your humor in the beginning, “Sometimes I wonder if I am even on the road. Should I even be on the road?” I can completely relate.

    Liked by 1 person

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