How many of us of are guilty? I know I am. I’ve mention previously about letting my fear influence my decisions. It is hard for some of us to admit that our fear comes from lack of confidence and self esteem. When we’re confronted about our reasons, we may respond with something vague, and generic. Its hard to be honest with ourselves, and acknowledge out loud that our self esteem is shot.
I can give myself countless reasons why I should not do something before I come up with reasons why I should. If I am firm about a decision, given enough time alone, I can talk myself out of it. Where did this come from and where did this start? I’m not exactly sure, in my mind, I’ve always been that way.
I was never “talked up” as a kid. Never told how smart I was, or anything to give my ego and confidence a boost. If I did do something special, it wasn’t that special. At least it wasn’t treated that way. Admittedly, I spent a lot of time trying to please, but when the responses weren’t what I was expecting, my self esteem would take a hit. I didn’t know it at the time of course, but those feelings of inadequacy would follow me.
It is hard to think about the opportunities I have bypassed because I didn’t think I had a chance. Its hard to think about the chances I didn’t take because I assumed failure. Its hard to admit that I’ve had mostly a defeatist attitude. Its harder to admit how much it has influenced me.
The good news? I’m working on all of it. Its taken awhile, but I’ve made big steps and I’m working on me every day. Have a I ran into unfavorable outcomes? Sure, quite a few, but I didn’t let any potential outcome deter me. I’ve done things I was afraid to do, like joining a gym, speaking in public, take up a leadership position when I need to, speaking up and standing up for myself. I do get anxious with anticipation, but I don’t run out of fear anymore. I’m becoming my own kind of brave, and gaining confidence with each step I take.
Writing 101 Day 7: Today, write a response to one of these tweets. Shape your post in any way you choose — agree or disagree with the tweet, or use it as a starting point for a story, personal essay, poem, or something else.
The assignment also gave the option of choose our own quote.